A week ago, I sat on a panel of foster parents for people who were interested in learning more about what it looks like to step into this journey. Tonight, I sit at my house with two kiddos tucked into my guest room, aged 7 and 9, sleeping soundly and my own 8 month old daughter asleep in our room. The girls' 5 year old brother has been with us for the last four nights, but left us today to transition to a longer term foster placement.
Walking away from the panel last week, I was struck by the fact that to the outside world, I am a foster parent, but in my heart, that is a title that doesn't ring true. I have been an emergency foster parent for the last two years, taking kids into our home on the weekends and after hours with my husband, Luke. I became a mama last September when our little one, Dahlia, was born. That being said, I feel like I am just now learning how to be a parent. One thing I have realized with my involvement with our state's Department of Human Services and the families that is serves is that there is such a crisis shortage of safe and open homes that my inexperience of being a parent is outweighed by my willingness to open up my home and my heart.
Over the last week, I have realized that even if I am not confident in my parenting skills, I have much to offer these three children that are in our home. After all, I can...
-get the spaghetti stain out of their white shirt
-buy them underwear that fit at Walmart
-run a bubble bath (until the 5 year old uses up a whole bottle of shampoo and can't seem to rinse off)
-do laundry, so many loads of laundry
-drive them to school and pick them up on time
-read with them
-give them a shoulder to lean on
-hold their hands when we cross a street
-give them a snack
-make chocolate chip cookies, and give them each a part to help with, and of course let them eat the dough
-take their temperature when they have a fever in the middle of the night and place a cool washcloth on their forehead
-pour their milk into their Lucky Charms
-double tie their shoelaces for the twelfth time today
-play on the teeter totter with them
-pick them up when they fall
-make them mac and cheese (obviously the blue box kind)
-cover them with a blanket and admire their precious sleeping faces
-let them beat me at board games
-and my personal favorite... have impromptu dance parties in the living room
Luke was letting each of the kids have turns with his instruments. Then, they asked him to play a song. He began with a lovely acoustic rendition of "What Does the Fox Say?", followed by "Let it Go". During which, all three kids and myself were "busting a move" (their words) in the living room while Dahlia napped in the other room. It was one of those moments that I so desperately wanted to snap a picture of to remember it for months to come, and yet knew that bringing out my phone would cheapen it. Instead, I chose to wink at Luke, watch the joy on the kids' faces as we twirled around the living room, and realize that this is what we can bring and is exactly what they need.
We have no idea what we're doing, and it feels a little crazy quite often. But in the end, we just do our best to meet the needs of some innocent children who have gone through some tough stuff and hope that our actions speak our love.
